Bowling for Vampires
by dontkawai
Summary: Group one shot. Takes place after "Family". Our lovely little band have decided to go for a harmless night of bowling. Men vs. Women. Considering the stakes haha both parties are playing to win. Eric/Sookie/Pam/Sam/Bill/Ally silliness. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Time frame: Years after "From Dead to Worse"

Disclaimer: I don't have any claim on any characters in the Sookie Universe.

Takes place after "Family". Possible spoilers for that story. If I were you, I'd just read it as a separate fic to avoid confusion.

**A/N: Major writer's block. I had this whole thing in my head and had to post it. This is a silly one shot. I hope you enjoy it.**

**This story is totally dedicated to my bud, EricDreamer, who's been putting up with my cliffhangers very patiently.**

"Yes!" I screamed jumping up and down as the last pin fell. I rolled another strike. Bill was smiling at me.

"Don't be so happy, buddy. We are one step closer to beating you guys!." I laughed as I looked over at my team.

***********************************************************************

We were bored. Okay, Pam and I were bored. Sookie wasn't exactly bored (hell, who could be bored with a smokin' vampire husband like Eric around?), but she wanted to do something out of the norm. Eric fed off (haha) of Sookie's excitement so of course he was in. Sam overheard our plans so Sookie invited him to join us. Being the dutiful boyfriend that he was, Bill offered to be my escort. I know he was more comfortable in a private setting, but it also pleased him that I had become fast friends with everyone. Well, he was pleased about my friendship with almost everyone. I think he suspects that Sam has a thing for me, but he'll get over it. He has before.

Of course none of them realize that this instant rapport I have with everyone is not really so instant. A part of me wanted to tell them of the things we had done and the tough times we had shared. But this was a different present now. It was different because of me…because I loved them.

Anyway, we girls decided that bowling would be fun. I was actually shocked that Pam would want to go bowling. I was sure the shoes alone would offend her sensibilities. She shocked me again by producing the nicest looking bowling shoes I had ever seen. No, really. They were white with a periwinkle blue pattern on it and she wore a matching cardigan with some cream colored pants. So we wouldn't feel left out, she bought us girls a pair too. The patterns were different colors to match our eyes. That Pam.

To make things more interesting we split up into teams. Originally it was going to be vamps against non-vamps. Sam was thrilled to be on a team with Sookie and me, Bill and Eric were not so thrilled. Okay, so we finally decided it would be the girls against the guys. Depending on which team won, the losers would have to suffer a bit of team humiliation- winner's choice. The men had to strip tease in public to a song of our choice if they lost. The girl's didn't have to strip but we were required to perform on stage at Fangtasia for them to a song of their choice.

The vision of these beautiful men stripping was enough to make my mouth water. Such lovely eye candy… We had better win.

"Dammit, Bill. Would you just roll the ball already? I don't wish to spend an eternity in this place." Eric grumbled. They were one point behind.

Bill tightened his jaw and rolled the ball. A strike. He smirked at me and sat down.

Sookie was up next. As soon as she bent over to release the ball we heard Eric _moaning_ at her ass. Shoot. She got a 7-10 split. "Eric!" she scolded.

"What?" his face was a picture of innocence.

"You know what. Stop ogling my behind." She only got the 7 pin. Crap.

Eric's turn. He bends over to retrieve his ball. "My, my lover. Whose ogling behinds now?" he leered. Then in two steady strides he bent and practically shot the ball out of his hand, shattering all the pins." Another strike. Eric saunters back to his seat.

Pam got up. "Is anyone going to look at my ass now? I feel left out." she pouted then proceeded to throw a strike.

"I think you have a nice butt, Pam. Definitely drool worthy." I winked and blew her a kiss. She smiled and winked back. This solicited the intended response from the men. Bill's jaw dropped, Eric looked amused and Sam fell off his seat.

He still hadn't regained his composure by the time he got up. We looked at each other and smiled. We were going to play dirty.

I "accidentally" tripped right as Sam was coming from behind me. His hands caught me by the waist before I fell to the ground. I straightened up, my back against his chest. I slowly turned around to face him making sure my hair brushed across his face as I did so. His hands tightened slightly and I heard him breathe me in. 'Thank you Sam, you're a doll." I smiled as I gave him a quick peck on his cheek. Sam rolled a gutter ball and but recovered by getting the spare. Bill was seething but not because of Sam's performance, but because of mine. Poor baby.

My turn. As I went to pick up my ball a pale arm snaked from behind resting his hand on top of mine. "Ally…" Bill said disapprovingly. I took his hand with my free one and said, "What?" with all of the innocence I could muster. He was seething…again. I let out a breath,

"Bill, why don't you stop being such a wet blanket and let Ally have some fun?" Pam commented. I'm sure she was pleased at using that term.

"I don't think that Bill has any clue what you're talking about." added Sookie.

"So I'm both clueless and boring now?" Bill asked with an exasperated look on his face.

Silence.

Then suddenly, I burst out laughing. Everyone else chuckled. Bill still looked exasperated.

"Bill, you are way too much fun to be boring." I told him as I gave him a hug. "Besides, we girls are playing to win." I whispered in his ear.

He stared at me for a moment then blinked. Then he turned his body to allow me pass.

I approached the line and as I swung my ball back, it slipped out of my fingers during the descent causing my ball to plop onto my lane and spin awkwardly into the gutter. _What the…_

I turned to see Bill, Eric and Sam giving each high fives. Bill handed Eric some sort of tube and knowing that I was looking, gave me a wink.

The bugger, greased my ball! He must have done it during the exchange.

When they finally sat down, all three men were grinning at us.

Apparently, they were playing to win also.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Time frame: Years after "From Dead to Worse"

Disclaimer: I don't have any claim on any characters in the Sookie Universe.

Takes place after "Family". Possible spoilers for that story. If I were you, I'd just read it as a separate fic to avoid confusion.

**A/N: Major writer's block. I had this whole thing in my head and had to post it. This is a silly one shot. I hope you enjoy it.**

**This story is totally dedicated to my bud, EricDreamer, who's been putting up with my cliffhangers very patiently.**

**Chapter 2**

Last round. Time to regroup.

Obviously, we'd been had. We never figured the guys would unite forces. I mean come on. Eric and Bill had issues because of Sookie. Eric and Sam- same thing. Then Sam and Bill…see a pattern, anyone?

"Eric must have done this. He hates losing." Pam said flatly.

"Eric, hates to lose. Wow, what a big surprise. Thanks Pam for enlightening us." said Sookie rolling her eyes. I could tell she was getting really worked up. She doesn't seem to like losing either.

"Okay, let's not be fighting amongst ourselves." I whispered glancing at the men. "We all should have been prepared for this, considering who we are dealing with." Well if they were pulling out the big guns, so will we. "I have a plan, but you guys have to trust me. Deal?"

They both nodded. "We girls need to be out of vampire hearing range."

"Guys, we need to powder our noses. Be back in a sec." I said as we all got up.

"Of course." said Eric smoothly. "You beautiful ladies take your time."

They were being so obnoxiously smug.

When we got outside, I turned to them.

"I think I can even up the odds a little, but you ladies have to cover for me. Okay?"

"What are you planning to do?" asked Pam.

"It's too hard to explain. But you'll know it when it happens."

I held out my hand palm down. Sookie placed hers on top of mine and then after a moment, Pam.

"Go Team!" we said in unison and laughed.

When we walked back all three men were leaning back against their seats with their legs stretched out in front of them. They were chuckling and whispering like they've been buddies for years. When we got there they stopped whispering and were suddenly serious. I could still see mirth in their eyes though. They thought that they had this game won. We'll see about that.

Bill was up next. The ball was rolling dead center, then suddenly hopped bouncing to the right knocking down the 4 pin. Bill scowled and bowled again. He put a slight spin on the ball so that it would arc but before the ball could hit the pins it stopped and just spun idly.

The men all looked at each other. I could hear Eric's mind clicking.

"Uh nice one Bill." Sookie jeered. Pam was looking at me with an unreadable expression. I raised an eyebrow.

Sookie's turn. Strike! I guess Eric was too distracted to bother her.

Eric's turn. He practically flew down the lane and shot the ball out with his usual finesse. It too stopped before it hit the pins. He whipped around and stalked towards me.

"Yes?" I asked the picture of innocence.

"How are you doing this?" he demanded.

"Doing what?"

"You know WHAT." he hissed. "You are the only unknown in this group. You are doing something."

"Master, aren't you over-reacting? Maybe there is something wrong with the lane." Pam offered. He turned to look at her like she had two heads.

Before anyone could say another word, the power went out. We heard a slight clicking noise and then the emergency lights when on. Everyone looked at me. Hey, I didn't do it.

Twenty minutes later, a nasally voiced man announced over the intercom system. "Due to technical difficulties, the lanes will be closed. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please feel free to pick up a voucher for free nachos at your next visit. Thank you."

Pam was calculating our scores manually. When she finished she counted again. Her brows furrowed.

"So who won?" we all asked in unison.

"It's a tie." she said.

**A/N- Okay, I wanted both sides to lose. Both ideas were too much to pass up. Updating shortly. hehe**

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Time frame: Years after "From Dead to Worse"

Disclaimer: I don't have any claim on any characters in the Sookie Universe.

Takes place after "Family". Possible spoilers for that story. If I were you, I'd just read it as a separate fic to avoid confusion.

**A/N: Major writer's block. I had this whole thing in my head and had to post it. This is a silly one shot. I hope you enjoy it.**

**This story is totally dedicated to my bud, EricDreamer, who's been putting up with my cliffhangers very patiently.**

**The men are stripping to Nelly's "Hot in Here". I would seriously put on the song as you read that part. It makes it so much more enjoyable.**

**The women are singing Wait a Minute by Pussycat Dolls. Also worth a listen. **

**Chapter 3**

**ONE NIGHT ONLY**

**FANGTASIA PRESENTS**

**A FEAST FOR YOUR SENSES**

**SATURDAY NIGHT AT 10 PM**

**$30 COVER CHARGE**

**COME ONE, COME ALL**

**(WE PROMISE)**

I smiled as I taped the flyer at Fangtasia's entrance. I had already posted it on Fangtasia's home page. Hey, Eric said it would be good for business.

When we had all recovered from results that night we thought it would be a good idea to make it a joint performance. I was shocked at the song the men chose for us to perform to. I was doubly surprised that the suggestion came from Bill.

Well, well, well. Bill's musical tastes were definitely broader than I imagined.

The song for the men came to us girls simultaneously. The fact that these powerful men were going to have to come up with something and work together was almost worth us having to perform.

Anyway we all set aside time to practice our routine. After all, this would be good for business.

Sookie's voice was definitely not up to do lead but as back up she was fine. Plus she was a very nice dancer. Pam appointed me as lead singer after hearing me sing. She said my voice had an ethereal quality to it. If she only knew…

**Saturday Night**

I swallowed as I gave myself one final once over. Here I was clad in a black leather bustier with a matching miniskirt that just barely covered my rear. Thank goodness I have nice legs. Fishnet stockings and black stiletto boots completed my ensemble. I had my hair wild and wore my make up dark. Perfect. The girl's ensembles matched mine and I must say we were looking good.

We joined hands and looked at each other. Sookie and I took a deep breath (Pam didn't need to) and out we went.

Clancy looked very nice in a black leather jacket and pants. I asked him to wear a black tank and a gold chain to complete the look. He was beaming at me when he saw us approach.

I was happy he agreed to perform with us. Both Sookie and Pam were surprised he said yes. Pam said that she had this funny feeling that Clancy was doing it to please me because he wasn't exactly the friendliest vampire around.

I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. He seemed very sweet to me. When I mentioned it to the girls before he came over to my house to practice, they both laughed at me. "Oh Ally, Clancy may be many things but never is he _sweet_." Pam said shaking her head.

The lights went out and there was a hush out in the bar. We were standing behind a sheer black curtain waiting for Clancy to begin.

As soon as the music began the spot followed Clancy:

_Everybody listen all over the world  
I got a story 'bout my favorite girl (Wait a minute)  
_

The curtain went up and I sang…

_  
Oh, my baby sexy for sure  
I had to have him when he walked through the door (Wait a minute)_

Both Pam and Sookie were on other side of me sliding up and down my body as they sang. They were both very flexible

_She was 'bout to drive me insane  
She come with drama while I'm giving her chains (Wait a minute)  
_

I walked over to Clancy one hand in my hair and gyrated my hips as we faced each other.

_  
I'm focused but I'm losing control  
He only wants me for my body and soul (Wait a minute)  
_

As we continued to sing and grind all over the stage I felt Bill's eyes boring into me. I couldn't see where he was. We had gotten dressed at Pam's so I have no idea how the men looked or even where they were at. I started to feel a warmth building below and let that come out in my performance by licking my lips and rubbing up against poor Clancy. He didn't seem bothered by it though.

_  
What they call you, Mr. Tin man or something?  
See, I don't want your cars  
I don't want your jewelry  
You can't buy this  
So you can keep that  
Wait a minute...  
Uh yeah, you can give me that back_

When it was over, the crowd went wild with applause and whistles. I guess we were a hit.

As we exited the stage area, we were bombarded by compliments and a couple of business cards were thrown our way.

Then, we went around to our seats. We had front view of the next performance.

The music began and our men strode out like they owned the place. Well, one of them actually did, but that was beside the point.

They were all clad in tuxedos with Eric in the middle (of course) with Bill and Sam on either side. Eric's hair was loose and looked slightly mussed and so did Sam and Bill. Their faces held a serious expression that I can only describe as dripping with sex…

_Hot in....._

_So hot in herre....._

_So hot in....._

In unison, the men yank off their ties and threw their jackets on the ground.

**Oh…my…God…**

_(Nelly)_

_I was like, good gracious ass bodacious_

_Flirtatcious, tryin to show faces_

_Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know)_

_Lookin for the right time to flash them G's_

_Then um I'm leavin, please believin_

_Me and the rest of my heathens_

_Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons_

_Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin_

_No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin_

_I need you to get up up on the dance floor_

_Give that man what he askin for_

_Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you_

_And cant nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use_

Smoldering at us the whole time, they each had a confident grin. At each beat the men would slowly undo a button of their shirts pulling the fabric apart slightly each time as a tease. Their hips were bumping to the beat as their legs stood slightly apart.

I thanked the Lord for making sure this performance was recorded. I was definitely going to have to see this again…

With their shirts gaped open, they ran their fingers down their chests all the while grinding and licking their lips as they looked at us.

I thought I was going to faint.

By the time they got to the pants, I was drooling.

They undid the button.

The zipper was going down.

Rotating clockwise, they slid their pants down slowly.

We all gasped.

They were all wearing black leather underwear.

I climaxed.

_Nelly hang all out)_

_Mix a little bit a ah, ah_

_With a little bit a ah, ah_

_(Nelly just fall out)_

_Give a little bit a ah, ah_

_With a little bit a ah, ah_

_(Nelly hang all out)_

_With a little bit a ah, ah_

_And a sprinkle a that ah, ah_

_(Nelly just fall out)_

_I like it when ya ah, ah_

_Girl, Baby make it ah, ah_

As the lights dimmed and the men strode off stage in their underwear, the boom of applause was deafening. I am sure that the whole tristate area heard it of course. It was kind of a blur to me actually. I lost all control of my motor functions as did Sookie and even Pam had a far off look in her eyes.

As we walked back to meet the guys, I was tingling. When we opened the door, all three men were dressed in their normal attire with that darn smug look on their faces again.

"So, ladies… Who's up for a rematch?" asked a very cocky (haha) blond Viking.

**The End**


End file.
